So, I know I have shared that I am counseling a preteen girl, J. This has been one of the coolest experiences God has given me since arriving in Philly almost 4 years ago. I have known her since we moved here, but never in a million years would I have guessed that I would have the sort of relationship I have with her now. Sure she is young, she has a lot going on, she has many "issues," but I am watching God rock her world. I have a front row seat to watch God really mold this young girl's heart. He is even allowing me to be HIS mouth sometimes. He is allowing me to be his servant to her here on earth. I am beyond humbled by this experience as I in NO WAY see myself as any sort of a counselor. BUT, God seems to think that I can do this and He is doing great things through this. I promised Him I would show up and be willing, I told God that He had to do the rest. He hasn't let me down, not one time since I showed up.
During our many weekly "sessions" I have gotten to watch J cry, scream, walk out on me, stare at me in silence, talk surface talk and more. I have gotten to know a young girl in such an intimate way and over this time I have earned her trust to a level even I am amazed with. On Sunday she shared her private poetry and writing journal with me. I obviously can't share what I was able to read, but I know for certain I am the only one who has read any of it. She confided in me many deep feelings and dreams, hopes and fears. We ARE getting somewhere together, me, J and God.
This has been an amazing experience for me in so many ways, I am learning so much and growing so much. I thought I was signing up to help J, but in the end it is ME who is getting to grow alongside of her. She is teaching me so much about myself. I have always been up front, the leader, the control freak, the gal with the answers. Not anymore. I am the lady counseling a girl that not many people really understand. I am the gal spending time with one troubled preteen...and most don't even know I am doing it. I love this new role God has led me to, this behind the scenes, no name on the leader list, nobody really even knows role. God is changing J, God is changing me. Please pray for us both as we both try to CHOOSE the path laid before us. As I assigned J this week...read-pray-obey. Shouldn't we all?
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