Mixed Emotions

Something I have always struggled with as a missionary…vacations.  I remember sitting in Pastor Bill’s office soon after we arrived in Philly, when he shared with us about vacations and thinking I would never feel the need for them the way he spoke of it.  Oh how naïve I was.

I totally get it now.  We must get away in order to refresh to continue serving.  Sure, we could serve, serve, serve and never take a break…but we are better after we take the refreshing breaks.

We leave on this weekend for a cruise with my parents.  They take us-so it’s not a financial issue for us.  Still, there are many emotions involved with traveling so luxuriously. There is a bit of guilt and a bit of relief all mixed up into a big ball of confliction.  The idea of getting away, disconnected from cell phones and internet is just perfect for us, there is no other vacation that provides that for us!  It is very exciting and we count the days leading up to a trip like this.  God always seems to bring them at the perfect time for us-this one is no exception.

Still, there is a part inside of me that feels a bit of unease.  It reminds me of the circumstances I was born into and how different my life is from the many I know and love here in Philly {and around the world}.  I used to think it was necessary to deprive myself of the things that I have been blessed with in order to serve God better here.  Over the past 7 years I have realized that this probably isn’t the case.  I just need to learn how to draw close to Him and serve him in any circumstances-even spoiled, luxurious conditions.

So, we set sail on Sunday.  I DO plan to enjoy every minute of it!  I spend much of my time away in awe and whispering up thanks to God about a million times a day it seems!  We certainly don’t deserve this vacation any more than anybody else, that’s for sure. 

Praise be to God for providing this amazing gift to us.  We truly are so grateful.